Friday, July 18, 2008

I'm baaaaccckkk!

Well, it's been a little more than a month since my last post. I can't even begin to explain how crazy my life was over the past 10 weeks or so. As many of you know, I am a professional writer (it's how I make my living) and I write a lot about building, remodeling, property management, etc. A writer friend of mine was writing a book on green building and remodeling when she got very very sick and needed to give up her work. Her agent contacted me to complete the job she wanted to do and I was more than willing to take it on. However, it meant writing almost 100,000 words in less than 8 weeks. That also meant getting my other assignments completed as well, which was the last finishing touches on another book (a school biography book on Ellen DeGeneres). I had to take this assignment, but it meant sitting at my computer until it was done. Just so you know, many writers can take up to a year to write 100,000 words. I had 8 weeks! Plus I had to get pictures for this book too. Soooooo....weeks later, the job is done and I am suffering from serious carpal tunnel in my left elbow that I'm working on fixing and digging out from piles of mail, unanswered emails, a messy house (not that messy, the kids were very helpful), and other stuff I hadn't gotten to, including my blogs! (I'll keep you posted on the book too!)

Smack in the middle of all of this was the 9th anniversary of Jeff's passing (and father's day and his birthday). On July 8, 1999 I lost my beloved hubby, father of my children. The kids were all at camp and I decided not to make a huge deal out of that day. I took ONE day off of work to go to a casino about an hour away. Just me, nobody else (my friends asked me why I went by myself and I said that I wanted to, everyone was working and I just wanted 'me' time). So I'm driving down and I know the exit I have to get off of is near the gym where Jeff and I met. I know I have to pass it and I haven't seen it in quite some time so I know it's going to get to me. So I start talking to myself. I entitle myself to be happy that day. Happy about the love he gave me, happy about having such a special person in my life, happy for our children, happy for the silly voices he did -- just plain happy. I didn't want to cry. I wanted to remember when we met and how he came up from behind me at the gym and asked if my boyfriend would mind if he nibbled on my ear (great line, by the way). I told him I had no boyfriend and he walked away. That weekend we started dating. It was all coming back like a movie I was watching in my head.

I get off the exit and make the left toward the casino. Several traffic lights are ahead before I get to the next turn I have to make. I stop at a red light.! Not the light before it or after it, or two down, but right AT the gym. And it took forever to turn green. So I looked at the gym, but I didn't cry. Instead, I said "You're saying hi to me. Hello! Love you!"

The light turned green and I was on my way. I stopped by and looked at (from the outside) my old apartment that I lived in when we first met. I headed to the casino and lost my money (then I cried! LOL, only kidding...). I actually enjoyed myself for a bit and just felt like it was some 'me' time. I headed back home a few hours later. After camp, the kids and I talked about the day and we're heading to the cemetery this weekend to plant new flowers.

I'm glad to be back; the posts will be more regular next week. I hope you are all doing okay and trying to enjoy some nice summer weather. Today, I pick up my little one (she's 11) from sleepaway camp. She's been there since Sunday. I really miss her.

Until next time, you may be young, but you're not alone.


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