It's been almost two weeks since my last post. My workload is -- thankfully -- very full and I've been busy trying to finish a book project for a publisher of mine. Add in snow days, a tax return, and a headcold and you know how it is...
Last night I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned and saw every hour pass. It's these nights that my grief makes a return visit. I still sleep on my side of the bed and, occasionally, I move to the middle depending on how my back feels. But last night, while watching television and trying to fall asleep -- a bad habit I've created for myself -- I burst into tears. I looked over at his side of the bed. I could picture him there and I missed him. I felt bad for what happened to him. I questioned my decisions about his healthcare. I ached for him. I have those moments every now and then. Granted, I get through the day easier, but when I go through moments that are more than just a bit of misty and a single teardrop, it pours out of me. Last night it was buckets.
Question: When do I take the rings off??? and what do I do with them???
Honestly, I wasn't wearing my wedding ring when Jeff died. I had given birth to Samantha two years earlier and I couldn't get the ring back on yet. So when Jeff died, I put our rings around my neck. Sadly, while on a get-away to Atlantic City that I went on with some friends who were trying to give me a break, the chain broke and I lost both of them. What a trip.
My advice -- you'll know when to take off the ring. It might be right away (and you put it on a chain, but be careful), six months or even a year later. In my opinion, I would consider taking them off by the first anniversary or so, but I know some widows who went two years before taking them off. Once you're ready for dating, it should obviously come off, but it really is a personal decision. Do not have anyone push you into doing something you're not ready for.
I still have my engagement ring and am just not considering changing it into a different diamond ring for me to wear. I love it as an engagement ring, but the truth is I can't wear it that way and I'll feel like I have another symbol of Jeff's love that I can wear forever.
What have you done with your rings?
Guys who think I need them...
So, I signed up to try a few dating services and have met a few nice men -- one of whom I am considering meeting. (I've run into a dry spell meeting people the traditional way.) But with nice men are a bunch of rotten apples and this one guy made me laugh. He actually thought that me telling him off was a "hard-to-get" routine! I started laughing when he said, "Oh this act is getting old. You know you need me and it's getting close until we meet." While this might anger some people, I found it highly amusing and while I practiced my flirting on some of the nice men, I practiced my snarky comebacks on this one.
Until next time,