I am so glad I finally found a site that expresses exactly the issues facing a widow/widower. I had tried grief groups, but everyone was older, had grown children and grandchildren - I didn't fit in. Almost every topic you write about I can relate to. I have not attempted dating, my husband passed away 2 years ago, but I feel like that is a completely foreign concept. I can't even attempt it, but I do hate being alone and not part of a couple. Then I get angry - I didn't sign up for this! keep up the writing, its great what you are doing!
I got the chance to read this article you speak of and wow!! I was finally able to identify!! I want to post what you said about dating and how you can't just put the past behind you!!
"A widowed mom is different from a divorced or never-married mom. She has different issues to deal with—a child’s grief, a child who is thinking someone is taking daddy’s place and having the kids 24/7. The guy also needs to understand that I didn’t choose this life, so the pictures of my husband aren’t going away because that’s my children’s father. I didn’t hate the man and didn’t divorce him, so don’t ask me to put that part of my life away forever simply because I met you. Instead, embrace the fact that my kids had a great dad and I had a great husband and I really am moving on—otherwise I wouldn’t be on this date."
I've had to use this exact comments with the man I'm dating now!! I have found myself second guessing myself, thinking that maybe it's been too long; maybe I should be putting my pictures away but you've made me feel so much better about the whole thing!! Thank You so much!!
2 comments:
I am so glad I finally found a site that expresses exactly the issues facing a widow/widower. I had tried grief groups, but everyone was older, had grown children and grandchildren - I didn't fit in.
Almost every topic you write about I can relate to. I have not attempted dating, my husband passed away 2 years ago, but I feel like that is a completely foreign concept. I can't even attempt it, but I do hate being alone and not part of a couple. Then I get angry - I didn't sign up for this!
keep up the writing, its great what you are doing!
I got the chance to read this article you speak of and wow!! I was finally able to identify!! I want to post what you said about dating and how you can't just put the past behind you!!
"A widowed mom is different from a divorced or never-married mom. She has different issues to deal with—a child’s grief, a child who is thinking someone is taking daddy’s place and having the kids 24/7. The guy also needs to understand that I didn’t choose this life, so the pictures of my husband aren’t going away because that’s my children’s father. I didn’t hate the man and didn’t divorce him, so don’t ask me to put that part of my life away forever simply because I met you. Instead, embrace the fact that my kids had a great dad and I had a great husband and I really am moving on—otherwise I wouldn’t be on this date."
I've had to use this exact comments with the man I'm dating now!! I have found myself second guessing myself, thinking that maybe it's been too long; maybe I should be putting my pictures away but you've made me feel so much better about the whole thing!! Thank You so much!!
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