Okay, I'll say it -- most of my friends are married and I still don't get invited out much. Oh sure, I get invited to Moms-only events, Ladies-only nights out or events where my kids are invited, but if John and Suzie or Mary and Tom are going out, well, they go out and my phone doesn't ring. I've gotten kind of used to it over the years. I'm not in a relationship right now so it still happens. I date occasionally but nothing spectacular. So I made the proactive decision to join groups to get myself out of the house. I thought, "Why am I waiting around for friends to ask me to do something?" (Oh, by the way, yes, I've asked my friends to do stuff and guess what ends up happening? ONLY the wives show up!) There are others in my boat too, so why not join them?
So I heard about Meetup.com (nope, not getting any money by mentioning them) and I joined several groups in my area (movie lovers, singles groups and what they call "friends" which can be married and singles). We've gone bowling, to a comedy club -- that was so much fun -- and last night one of the groups went out to dinner and then to see a Latin band and go Latin dancing.
When I got to dinner (we went to the Double O Grill), the 40+ singles Meetup group I joined really was more like 55+. "Okay, Lisa, stick it out, you're here," I thought to myself. I knew I didn't have anything in common with them and I could've turned around and left at that point. But I didn't. Besides, I really wanted to see the Latin group and I was starving. I spoke to the people who were there and learned a little about them and they were nice. Not exactly people I'd call up to go do something with and some of them didn't go dancing, but I didn't think of it as "I'm going to meet a man here." I thought of it as "I'm getting out of the house and I'm meeting new people." LOL.
So we headed over to the lounge and the band performed about 45 minutes after we got there. Wow! Those people who hit the dance floor could move! This was so out-of-the-box for me that I just watched for a bit and moved a little on the floor.
When I left, I realized I followed through with something that could've been very uncomfortable for me and I had a nice time just being out of the house. So, for those who are ready, you may want to look into a Meetup group. Why do I like it? You can sign up only for what you want to do and what fits your schedule. I'm not a hiker, so I didn't sign up for a Sunday morning hike, but I've done bowling and plan on seeing movies and going to another venue to listen to music. You can leave when you want and take it one step at a time. You can also start one in your area, so if you're looking to meet more widows/widowers, this might be the way to go. They have clubs for book lovers, moms, exercise, singing, and more. Too many to mention here actually.
IF YOU ARE READY, and for those of you who are interested, take a chance and sign up for ONE thing...and do your best to see it through. I'm not asking that you go out and meet a man/woman for a relationship. That's not what this is about right now. This is about taking that first step into living again.
Next week, we're going back to the comedy club!
Lisa
1 comment:
And, just so you know for when you're ready: Social dancing (ballroom, Latin, etc.) can be one of the safest places to have a good time and get some exercise, too.
Dance clubs (not a nightclub, but an organization for people who dance) usually offer a free lesson before each dance. They are usually very welcoming to beginners -- because people remember when they began! And the lessons usually "rotate parters," which means that you don't get stuck with one person and you learn more because you get to dance with different kinds of dancers.
People are usually open to conversation, but the focus tends to be on dancing, so there's rarely anyone overtly looking for a relationship. Friendships happen, and they can get more serious, but that's not why people are there.
Try a local college to see if there's a club there. Or check into national organizations for ballroom dancing, etc. Have fun!
Post a Comment